Networking: Are You In It To Win or Just Practicing?

It's amazing to me how many people "think" they are networking? It's even more amazing to me how many people are actually not engaging with their networks!

Some of you will think this blog is a little harsh. That's Ok! I don't mind. If it shakes some people up to get them engaging more with their networks, so they see growth in their business, then I am only too happy to take a little heat from those who may get their feelings wounded. And I'm Ok with it because I believe this message is THAT important. Important for you and for your business.

As a networking coach, it's my role to help the client shift their strategies and their perspectives. Simply put - sometimes it's my role to make the client feel a little uncomfortable. Sometimes it's my role to get the client stirred up.  WHY?  Because most times people need a shake up to MOVE in a different direction.

I am speaking from experience. I am currently working with a business coach and am part of a mastermind with a extremely successful international business strategist and when she "shakes things up and makes me uncomfortable"...       I TAKE ACTION!

So let's get serious. Why are you networking and more importantly how are you networking?

The bottom line for why you network is to gain business. You go to all kinds of networking events: free events, breakfast events, lunch events, dinner events, business after 5 events, exclusive industry events, open networking events, chamber events and the list could go on and on. The reality is that just showing up at an event or meeting and doing the quick handshake and exchange of business cards will rarely gain you business.

The bigger and more important part of networking is, more often than not, neglected. The bigger and more important part of networking is THE HOW.

The how you network is the action you take after you have made your introductions. Whether you meet people in person at an event or connect with someone in a Facebook group page is irrelevant. What's relevant is what you do after you establish the connection. It's what you do after that begins to create the relationship.

Ask yourself these two important questions. "How many networking events have I gone to and taken the next step to invite someone to coffee or lunch to continue building the relationship?" "Do I follow-up or do I simply wait until the next time I run into that person at another event only to say hello?"  How you answer those two questions will have a direct correlation to how much business you are actually getting from your networking activities.

Let's take this same situation to your social media platforms.

How many Facebook groups, Google hangouts, LinkedIn groups, etc. do you belong to? Are you engaging with your connections there or just hanging out in cyber space stalking the occasional post? How many "friends" do you have and how many "members" do you have in your social media arena? Are they REAL connections or just numbers you can brag about when someone asks?

I understand that it's important to have high numbers on your social media platforms to drive up your SEO.  Honestly, I get all that.  What I want YOU to understand is that although it is impressive to have a lot of connections, it's more important to build relationships with those you are connected to, so that you can ultimately grow your business.  It's important to engage in conversation with a private message and it's important to engage in the conversations in the groups you belong to.

Have you ever noticed that in the social media groups you belong to there is often only a handful of people that engage, comment and share regularly on the feed? It's those people that will be remembered because their name and pictures come up over and over again. Don't you want to be remembered?


How often do you respond to a post or are you a "like" button junkie? Are you contributing to the conversation? Do you take the time to privately message someone when you've read their posts to let them know your thoughts? Are you reaching out to others to encourage and support them?

I'm not suggesting you be in every single discussion of every thread on every post or that you need to respond to every post of every person you know on FaceBook or Twitter. What I am saying is that you do need to take a moment to get to know the people in the groups you belong to.  Take a few minutes each day to schedule in your calendar some time to stay actively connected to the people you want to network and build relationships with.  Responding to 2 or 3 different people's activities on social media each day, will let others know that you value the time they are taking to share some information with you and that you appreciate their efforts.   Responding each day will keep you actively engaged in building towards a stronger networking relationship.

How do you respond? With three simple steps that can take you from pretending to network to being the master networker you want to actually be.  Step 1. Like the post.  Step 2. Share the post.  Step 3. (and the most important step)  Pre-frame your share with a comment about WHY you are sharing it!

How do YOU feel when someone shares your post, your article, your picture? Feels pretty good doesn't it? It makes you feel like your opinion and thoughts matter. It makes you feel like you have made a connection with the person who shared your post. And that's because you have. You made a connection with that person and when that happens, you want to thank that person for sharing. You want to keep the momentum going. You want to continue the conversation and you want to get to know that person to build on that connection.  "BINGO"! THAT's Networking!

Take one step further and think about this. Isn't it the people, you already have a relationship with, that you would first refer someone to if you knew that someone was looking for a service or product? WHY? Because you like them and you trust them.  Would you send someone you know to a perfect stranger you know nothing about? Not likely.

I don't mean to sound condescending. Those who know me know that's not my style. But I did want to shake up your thoughts a bit, get you a bit uncomfortable and stir things up.  The reason I was willing to take a risk and do that is because I truly care about people, about relationships and about seeing people who put effort into growing their networks SUCCEED!

So, the next time you are at a networking event and you find yourself someone interesting to talk to, invite them for a coffee and get to know them better.  Make a habit to comment 2-5 times a day on the posts in your social media feed. Even better, share the post and add a comment there so you can get the conversation going and help each other to get more exposure.

What I am really trying to get you to understand is this: Start Talking! Start Engaging! If you want to build relationships you need to have people to build that relationship with.  Yes it's important to be at the networking event and it's important to be in the Facebook group, but that is not as important as having the people at the event or in the Facebook group KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

If you are going to play the networking game - Play to Win - Go For Broke - and WIN the Gold Medal!

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I'd love to know your thoughts.  Leave your positive comments below and let me know how you make out with your next networking activity.

Are You Hiding In A Room Full Of People?

It takes great courage to walk into a room full of people. It takes even more courage when it's a room full of strangers.  How do you handle it? Do you sit in the corner? Do you wait until people notice you? How long do you wait? 

The reason I ask is this…

I was at several networking events over the past couple of weeks and while I was at one of them, I noticed this woman across the other side of this large room, sitting very quietly on a chair.  

As I watched her, I noticed her posture was very prim and proper. I noticed how she fidgeted with the stem of her wine glass. I noticed how her eyes were focused only on the floor AND, I noticed all the people around her who didn’t even realize she was there!   

There was probably close to a hundred people in the room. I watched for about 5 minutes, thinking surely someone would reach out to this poor woman and make her feel at ease.   Nothing.

So, I went over and introduced myself. I casually said “You're sitting here by yourself, are you new to this group?”  She looked up and smiled with some sense of relief that she was indeed not invisible and quietly said she was here on business from across the country and wanted to come to this special event. WOW! Can you imagine the courage it took for her walk into a room full of complete strangers?  

I spent some time chatting with her, but since I was part of the event and had some responsibilities to perform, I couldn't take her under my wing for too long. I introduced her to one of my friends, explaining that this lady didn't know anyone and would she mind introducing her to some of the others. A very enthusiastic “Yes, of course!” was stated and off they went. Soon she was involved in some great conversations and meeting people around the room. She was engaged, smiling, laughing, and having a wonderful time.

When I got home that night I reflected back to the evening and wondered WHY no one noticed her earlier. I knew most of the people at this event and I know how incredibly supportive and thoughtful they are. Yet, not one of these generous people reached out to make this lovely lady feel welcome. WHY NOT? I know they all typically go out of their way to include others into conversations and would never leave someone on their own - intentionally! So again, WHY were they not rescuing this poor damsel in distress?

And then it hit me…. 

They didn’t see her because she literally made herself INVISIBLE! I thought back to her posture and how she sat there very rigid and stiff. I thought back to where she was looking, which was down, straight ahead, and towards the floor. I realized she was so scared to meet people, she made herself disappear.  

I always like to find lessons in what I experience and in this situation I found two lessons to be learned. 

The first is if you go to a networking event with the intention of not being seen - you won’t be seen. 

The second lesson was other people can’t be supportive and thoughtful to someone they just don't know is there.

Would it have made a difference if she sat more relaxed and looked around the room to make eye contact with someone?  Would it have made a difference if she stood and casually walked around the room making herself more accessible to others? The answer is a resounding YES! 

When you actively engage, even with your eyes and a smile, you make yourself approachable. People catch the twinkle in your eye and the kindness in your smile and will automatically respond in like. THAT RIGHT THERE is the start of a conversation. No words need to be said and yet there is an exchange of thoughts and feelings that complete a sentence. Once that connection is established, the next natural progression will be to engage in a word of mouth conversation.  

So my take on this is this…

The next time you find yourself going to a networking or a social event, whether you know people there or not, BE APPROACHABLE.  It doesn’t matter if you are nervous. It only matters that you’ve already stepped outside your comfort level by showing up, so make it worth your while. Take a bold step, lift the corners of your mouth, take a deep breath in and LOOK UP! The moment you do, you WILL make eye contact with someone. And when that happens, smile big and say hello. You will be amazed at how wonderfully kind and generous people are.

On the same note, the next time you are at a networking or social event, take a moment now and then to scan the room and see if you find someone sitting there quietly by themselves, trying not be seen. Reach out to that person. Let them know you understand what it’s like to not know anyone and introduce them to others. They will be so grateful to you and you can feel good about yourself.  

I always say that networking is not about YOU. This is the perfect example to showcase the meaning of that. When you take a moment to stop and think of someone else - it's a pretty good feeling for both of you.


I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog and please let me know if there is a topic you would like me blog about.  

To Your Success,
                                            

                                               

What Opportunities Are You Missing When You Decide To Stay Home?

You have a networking event to go to and you know you need to be networking to meet new people, to continue building those business relationships and that networking is key to building your business.   And there you are: not wanting to go! 

I love to network. I love to meet people.  I love to connect people.  That is the reason why I started a networking coaching business.  Yet, even as an expert networker,  I have those rare times when I feel like staying home.  I just feel like cuddling up on the couch to watch an episode of Suits on Netflix.  

Don't beat yourself up if that urge to skip an event flashes through your mind.  Do, however, make sure you don't let that urge win.  Take charge of your thoughts.   Give your head a shake and think for a moment what opportunity you might be missing out on if you don't go to that event. 

This it exactly what happened to me this week.   I was getting ready to go out to a networking event when that little voice in the back of my head said "Just stay home. You could have a relaxing evening at home and go to the next one."  Thank goodness my brain kicked in and kicked my butt out the door.

I arrived at the event and was greeted by the most lovely woman and immediately I realized I made the right decision to go.  I met some fantastic new people and I was able to make great connections between some of the attendees.   

And then it happened... 

Someone introduced others to me.  That introduction led to great conversation and that conversation led to results.  Those conversations allowed me to refer the people I had just met to some networking colleagues I knew could assist these persons with the challenges they were having.   It also resulted in myself setting up two meetings with potential coaching clients and a opportunity to present a workshop training for a small business.

Now what would have happened if I decided to let my momentary lapse of brain power overrule my work calendar?  Five other people's businesses would have been impacted.  

Because I was there, I was able to make connections to those people looking for some help with their business.  Those connections resulted in business for the people who could help them and that help will improve the businesses of the people looking for help.  

Because I was there, others were able to introduce some people looking for some help to me, which resulted in potential new business for myself and the possibility for me to impact someone else's business growth.  It was a great reminder to me why I do what I do and why I love networking.  It was a great reminder to me to not let the little voice in my head sway me from what I love. 

So here is the lesson for all of us.  The next time the little voice in your head tells you to stay home and relax, tell that little voice to "stop talking" and take control of your brain again.  Get yourself out the door.  You just never know what opportunities are waiting for you. Opportunities for you to help others and opportunities to come your way.  

Remember - Networking is not just about you... It's about a community that works together.




I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog and please let me know if there is a topic you would like me blog about.  

To Your Success,
Linda