Friday 26 February 2016

Are You Hiding In A Room Full Of People?




It takes great courage to walk into a room full of people. It takes even more courage when it's a room full of strangers.  How do you handle it? Do you sit in the corner? Do you wait until people notice you? How long do you wait? 

The reason I ask is this…

I was at several networking events over the past couple of weeks and while I was at one of them, I noticed this woman across the other side of this large room, sitting very quietly on a chair.  

As I watched her, I noticed her posture was very prim and proper. I noticed how she fidgeted with the stem of her wine glass. I noticed how her eyes were focused only on the floor AND, I noticed all the people around her who didn’t even realize she was there!   

There was probably close to a hundred people in the room. I watched for about 5 minutes, thinking surely someone would reach out to this poor woman and make her feel at ease.   Nothing.

So, I went over and introduced myself. I casually said “You're sitting here by yourself, are you new to this group?”  She looked up and smiled with some sense of relief that she was indeed not invisible and quietly said she was here on business from across the country and wanted to come to this special event. WOW! Can you imagine the courage it took for her walk into a room full of complete strangers?  

I spent some time chatting with her, but since I was part of the event and had some responsibilities to perform, I couldn't take her under my wing for too long. I introduced her to one of my friends, explaining that this lady didn't know anyone and would she mind introducing her to some of the others. A very enthusiastic “Yes, of course!” was stated and off they went. Soon she was involved in some great conversations and meeting people around the room. She was engaged, smiling, laughing, and having a wonderful time.

When I got home that night I reflected back to the evening and wondered WHY no one noticed her earlier. I knew most of the people at this event and I know how incredibly supportive and thoughtful they are. Yet, not one of these generous people reached out to make this lovely lady feel welcome. WHY NOT? I know they all typically go out of their way to include others into conversations and would never leave someone on their own - intentionally! So again, WHY were they not rescuing this poor damsel in distress?

And then it hit me…. 

They didn’t see her because she literally made herself INVISIBLE! I thought back to her posture and how she sat there very rigid and stiff. I thought back to where she was looking, which was down, straight ahead, and towards the floor. I realized she was so scared to meet people, she made herself disappear.  

I always like to find lessons in what I experience and in this situation I found two lessons to be learned. 

The first is if you go to a networking event with the intention of not being seen - you won’t be seen. 

The second lesson was other people can’t be supportive and thoughtful to someone they just don't know is there.

Would it have made a difference if she sat more relaxed and looked around the room to make eye contact with someone?  Would it have made a difference if she stood and casually walked around the room making herself more accessible to others? The answer is a resounding YES! 

When you actively engage, even with your eyes and a smile, you make yourself approachable. People catch the twinkle in your eye and the kindness in your smile and will automatically respond in like. THAT RIGHT THERE is the start of a conversation. No words need to be said and yet there is an exchange of thoughts and feelings that complete a sentence. Once that connection is established, the next natural progression will be to engage in a word of mouth conversation.  

So my take on this is this…

The next time you find yourself going to a networking or a social event, whether you know people there or not, BE APPROACHABLE.  It doesn’t matter if you are nervous. It only matters that you’ve already stepped outside your comfort level by showing up, so make it worth your while. Take a bold step, lift the corners of your mouth, take a deep breath in and LOOK UP! The moment you do, you WILL make eye contact with someone. And when that happens, smile big and say hello. You will be amazed at how wonderfully kind and generous people are.

On the same note, the next time you are at a networking or social event, take a moment now and then to scan the room and see if you find someone sitting there quietly by themselves, trying not be seen. Reach out to that person. Let them know you understand what it’s like to not know anyone and introduce them to others. They will be so grateful to you and you can feel good about yourself.  

I always say that networking is not about YOU. This is the perfect example to showcase the meaning of that. When you take a moment to stop and think of someone else - it's a pretty good feeling for both of you.


I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog and please let me know if there is a topic you would like me blog about.  

To Your Success,

                                            
                                               


Sunday 14 February 2016

What Opportunities Are You Missing When You Decide To Stay Home?




You have a networking event to go to and you know you need to be networking to meet new people, to continue building those business relationships and that networking is key to building your business.   And there you are: not wanting to go! 

I love to network. I love to meet people.  I love to connect people.  That is the reason why I started a networking coaching business.  Yet, even as an expert networker,  I have those rare times when I feel like staying home.  I just feel like cuddling up on the couch to watch an episode of Suits on Netflix.  

Don't beat yourself up if that urge to skip an event flashes through your mind.  Do, however, make sure you don't let that urge win.  Take charge of your thoughts.   Give your head a shake and think for a moment what opportunity you might be missing out on if you don't go to that event. 

This it exactly what happened to me this week.   I was getting ready to go out to a networking event when that little voice in the back of my head said "Just stay home. You could have a relaxing evening at home and go to the next one."  Thank goodness my brain kicked in and kicked my butt out the door.

I arrived at the event and was greeted by the most lovely woman and immediately I realized I made the right decision to go.  I met some fantastic new people and I was able to make great connections between some of the attendees.   

And then it happened... 

Someone introduced others to me.  That introduction led to great conversation and that conversation led to results.  Those conversations allowed me to refer the people I had just met to some networking colleagues I knew could assist these persons with the challenges they were having.   It also resulted in myself setting up two meetings with potential coaching clients and a opportunity to present a workshop training for a small business.

Now what would have happened if I decided to let my momentary lapse of brain power overrule my work calendar?  Five other people's businesses would have been impacted.  

Because I was there, I was able to make connections to those people looking for some help with their business.  Those connections resulted in business for the people who could help them and that help will improve the businesses of the people looking for help.  

Because I was there, others were able to introduce some people looking for some help to me, which resulted in potential new business for myself and the possibility for me to impact someone else's business growth.  It was a great reminder to me why I do what I do and why I love networking.  It was a great reminder to me to not let the little voice in my head sway me from what I love. 

So here is the lesson for all of us.  The next time the little voice in your head tells you to stay home and relax, tell that little voice to "stop talking" and take control of your brain again.  Get yourself out the door.  You just never know what opportunities are waiting for you. Opportunities for you to help others and opportunities to come your way.  

Remember - Networking is not just about you... It's about a community that works together.




I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog and please let me know if there is a topic you would like me blog about.  

To Your Success,
Linda